So, I am going to do something a little different.....This blog was originally created to help track Carson and Cooper's lives AND to help share those memories with friends and family. Over the last couple of weeks I have been wanting to add another "use" for the boy's blog. This will also be a place where I would like to share lessons learned (both mine and others that would like to share) throughout the boy's lives that may help them through life.
With that said:
Monday we lost my dad's sister (Aunt Sharon). Ordinarily this would be a horrible loss to deal with, however circumstances make it not just horrible, but a tragic loss. This is the first loss I have had to deal with in my adulthood of this nature. I have been blessed to not deal with much death in my lifetime and now, I also see how blessed I have been to have experienced the deaths that I have. You see, when my grandma died and even when my dad died it was a sad time, but it was a glorious time. I knew that I would definitely see them again in heaven. People could look me in the eye and comfort me by saying that they were in a better place and no longer suffering and I believed them because I knew it was true.....
Now, I have this new experience. It is unclear if my Aunt Sharon was saved or not, she may not be in heaven, she may not be better off now. She could have had a moment (like the thief on the cross), but we do not know. I sat here thinking tonight that I am glad the boys are not old enough to understand what is going on. I am not prepared to explain what is happening. I used to think I was, but I realized I am only prepared to explain death when it comes to loved ones that have been saved. I can sit there and say what a great person Aunt Sharon was and how much she gave of herself to help out people in our family, but that doesn't mean anything when she had no relationship with God and hadn't accepted him into her heart. Not knowing where my aunt's heart was at her untimely death is so UNcomforting. It is difficult to find words to comfort myself, let alone a child.
So boys, I would love to say that you will never have to deal with this because all of your loved ones will be saved and will end up in heaven, that you will be comforted with the knowledge that you WILL see them again in heaven and they are better off being there.....but only God knows if this will be true. I will do my best over the coming years to learn how to help you deal with this situation if and when it may occur again. Luckily, you have many knowledgeable and loving people of God around you and if Mommy or Daddy don't have the answers, we can guide you to the right people.
I can tell you this though, if something were to ever happen to Mommy or Daddy, you can be comforted by the fact that we WILL see you again in heaven. We are both definitely "works in progress" and both have our struggles, but we have both accepted God into our lives and our hearts and accept his guidance in raising the 2 of you.
