1. 6 years ago today we took this great photo if the boys, they were 10 days old and we cut the hospital bands finally off of them. Can you tell who us who?
2. 6 months ago, we met Cayden for the first time and welcomed him into our family!!
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
A blessing and a loss
As I was rocking and feeding Cayden today before his nap today, I was thinking of how wonderful it will be that all 3 of the boy's grandparents will be at lunch on Sunday to join us in our family celebration of Carson and Cooper turning 6.
It will be nice getting a picture of all 3 boys with the 3 special grandparents they have. However, one very special person is and will always bring missing in these celebrations.
7 years ago, we were preparing for our last family trip (not knowing it was our last) and a big surgery for my dad this time of year. It is hard thinking of all the joys and lessons the boys would have experienced with him, all the memories they would have. I imagine him embracing them, them sitting on his lap having conversations with each other, him correcting them and trying to steer them down a better path than he chose when he was young. Them witnessing his example of your word being your bond. Him getting a second chance to love on little ones and help raise them up to be strong men of God.
For now, the boys will get a chance to be loved on by their other 3 grandparents and make memories with them. Thank God that I can confidently assure the boys that one day the WILL meet Papa Larry and hug him and play with him and do all the special things that Papas and grandsons do.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Good cuddles
Cayden and I got to go to Mom's Day In together this morning. Everyone was so glad to see how much he had improved since being sick last week. I know I should probably put him in the nursery now, but I still enjoy cuddling with him during this time. He was especially cuddly today and spent most of the time either resting on my shoulder, blowing raspberries or talking to Chase who was crawling beneath us. I really do love this phase and am trying to make sure to enjoy as many minutes if it as I can!!!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Boy's (and mommy's) 1st school field trip!!!
I got the privilege to be one if the chaperones for the first field trip!!! It was great getting to know the kids better that I hear about all the time!!
This was my seat partner on the bus....pretty cute partner!
A pic of the whole class.
Picking out their pumpkins.
My little group (the Amazing Bees)
Another class photo with Miss Compton peaking her head through.
Cooper trying to lasso.
A cute little video
Just trying to capture Cayden's raspberries.
FYI: If you are getting this, it is because you automatically get every post we do. I am hopefully going to be posting an obscene amount of posts within the coming weeks so I am going to stop that function. If you would like to continue getting notified whenever a new post is up you can follow the blog in the column on the right.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Think we got it.....hopefully.
It took us a couple weeks....15 school days to be exact, but we finally experienced a nice morning before the boys headed off to school. No "hurry up, your going to be late"!!!!! No "you need to get up now or you will miss the bus!", "eat all your breakfast now!!"
We actually had a nice breakfast, got a chance to chit chat and even helped Daddy with a couple of items in the garage before the bus came.
I consider that quote an accomplishment for the day!!!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
First Day of School Prayer
Mom's 1st Day of School Prayer
Here we are again, Lord.
Their backpacks are loaded and their faces are scrubbed.
And I know you'll walk with them, Lord.
You always do. But a mom still has to ask.
Will You walk with them?
Will You whisper to them what they need to hear, when I'm not there to whisper it?
Will You please, oh please, cover their school with the protection only
You can give, and will You keep harm far away?
Will You make their minds strong and ready to learn?
Will You help them understand that hard work honors the One who created them?
Will You guide their teachers, giving them patience and
wisdom and creativity and more patience?
Will You bless them for their efforts?
Will You love all those children there,
the ones whose lunch accounts aren't full, the ones who feel alone?
Will You teach my children to be kind and unselfish
and to love those who are different from them?
Will You point them back toward home just as soon as you can?
Lord, I give them to You today and everyday,
trusting them to Your care.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
A last
This morning was our last breakfast before school starts. It consisted of the boy's favorite, pancakes, peaches and orange juice.
My how the boys have grown!!!
Monday, August 5, 2013
Mom brain.....
You know you really are suffering from "mommy brain" when you repeatedly try to start the dryer and are on the verge of calling your husband letting him know it is going to need to be repaired, just to realize you haven't shut the door......
Friday, July 12, 2013
New Love
By the way, the over achiever climbed over it while doing tummy time 2+ weeks ago!!!! Yes, you heard correctly. I didn't think of documenting it until the end because we were all so in awe!!!!
A photo from today:
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Blissfully Mourning
6 weeks ago, we received our miracle from God. Only he could have orchestrated the steps that led up to uniting us with Cayden..........7 weeks ago, we also received a blessing from God, just not the kind of blessing that someone would pray for or long for. You see, we lost a baby exactly 7 weeks ago......
We have had numerous people, since the day we received Cayden, that have looked at us and made statements like: "aren't you just elated with how it happened?"; "I bet you are just over the moon!"; "What a blessing it is that you saved this little guy!"; "Aren't you excited?"....the list could go on and on. We have had people ask why we didn't seem overjoyed.....we have even asked ourselves. The first week, we kept on contemplating when the overwhelming sense of joy would hit us. Would it be when the birth mom finally signed the consent? When we actually saw Cayden face to face? When the boys met Cayden? When we got to take Cayden home? But, it never did hit us. It was hard for a long time to come to terms with what we were feeling. Many people weren't aware of the nightmare we had been living for the past several months that ended horribly exactly 7 days before we received our next miracle.
We would fill people in on bits and pieces of our journey with the match we had beginning in January 2013, but it was next to impossible for us to keep up with, let alone others. Having been through years of fertility treatments, we were used to the rollercoaster that comes along with adding to our family. In some ways, I feel facing infertility was God's way of "training" us for the "battle" to come in our adoption journey.
I have practically each day of May 2013 documented in a journal that I was keeping to one day share with our baby. I haven't even had the guts to go back and look at it, let alone share all of the ups and downs with everyone else. We have known since the beginning of this journey that God was leading us. We also know that we would have never survived without God guiding us (sometimes dragging us) in the direction he intended for us to go in. You see, 7 days before being united with our new son, we found out that we lost the son we had been praying over, providing for and talking about for 5 months. We faced more deception and flat out evil in the month of May than we ever anticipated. Looking back, I can clearly see how incidents and relationships Chris and I have had in life with each other and other people equipped us to be able to come out of the battle still standing. There were definite times when we knew we were being covered with prayers and they were what was keeping us from throwing in the towel.
We found out 7 days before we got Cayden that the baby born 4 days before Cayden (unknown to us), that we had been providing for and praying for all these months was laying in the NICU going through withdrawal (we were prepared for that part), his "mom" (hard to even give her that title) had been released from the hospital and was refusing all calls and visits from our agency to sign the consent form. We learned she had forged many financial documents to get more money from us for drugs (supposedly), tried to get other agencies to give her more money for them to get the baby and there was no way we could even go see the baby or have anything to do with that baby. It wasn't the situation where a birth mother changes her mind and wants to keep the baby. She just didn't want to sign him over, most likely in hopes to find a way to get more money out of him somehow.
When we found out about Cayden, we were still heavily grieving a lost child, not one that died or having lost him because the birth mother changed her mind. He was still lying in a layette in the NICU, by himself, looking at being there 3-4 more months, going through withdrawal and there was no way we could help him. He was in our hearts (whether he was legally ours or not). Legally, CPS had custody of him (because of drugs and criminal charges pressed against her) and we know he will begin his life in a NICU being claimed by no one. Then when he is "released", he will be going to a foster family until all of the "mother's" rights have been terminated (which could be a year) and then go from there. We felt (and still feel) so helpless. We battle wanting to go to the NICU and just love on him and let him know someone loves him and care for him. We wonder what his life will end up like, will he be loved and cared for? All we can do is remember him and pray for God to watch over him.
On the good side, we know we went through all of this for a reason. We don't know that entire reason yet. It did strengthen us and draw us closer to God. It did show us that we can rely on him in good and bad and he is right there with us. I know he cried with us when we cried (even though he knew the outcome) and he rejoiced with us when we rejoiced. He rode right beside us on the rollercoaster and loved us through all of it.
So, when we get comments like: "What a blessing that you saved this little guy!!".....thank you, but no, we feel like he helped to save us.
I have been wanting to write this for a while, but wasn't sure how to put it into words. I want to remember these feelings and thoughts in the future when I think that God isn't moving fast enough or the right way. I felt we needed to explain to some why we weren't bouncing off the walls with excitement when Cayden came home. (I know I didn't need to explain, but didn't want people thinking we weren't happy.)
Are we elated? Yes, we are even though it may not completely show on the outside, we are overwhelmed with what God has given us!!!
Are we in mourning? Yes, we are. We don't expect everyone to understand and they don't need to, but we are still coming to terms with not being able to save that baby and "losing" him.
........Blissfully Mourning......
We have had numerous people, since the day we received Cayden, that have looked at us and made statements like: "aren't you just elated with how it happened?"; "I bet you are just over the moon!"; "What a blessing it is that you saved this little guy!"; "Aren't you excited?"....the list could go on and on. We have had people ask why we didn't seem overjoyed.....we have even asked ourselves. The first week, we kept on contemplating when the overwhelming sense of joy would hit us. Would it be when the birth mom finally signed the consent? When we actually saw Cayden face to face? When the boys met Cayden? When we got to take Cayden home? But, it never did hit us. It was hard for a long time to come to terms with what we were feeling. Many people weren't aware of the nightmare we had been living for the past several months that ended horribly exactly 7 days before we received our next miracle.
We would fill people in on bits and pieces of our journey with the match we had beginning in January 2013, but it was next to impossible for us to keep up with, let alone others. Having been through years of fertility treatments, we were used to the rollercoaster that comes along with adding to our family. In some ways, I feel facing infertility was God's way of "training" us for the "battle" to come in our adoption journey.
I have practically each day of May 2013 documented in a journal that I was keeping to one day share with our baby. I haven't even had the guts to go back and look at it, let alone share all of the ups and downs with everyone else. We have known since the beginning of this journey that God was leading us. We also know that we would have never survived without God guiding us (sometimes dragging us) in the direction he intended for us to go in. You see, 7 days before being united with our new son, we found out that we lost the son we had been praying over, providing for and talking about for 5 months. We faced more deception and flat out evil in the month of May than we ever anticipated. Looking back, I can clearly see how incidents and relationships Chris and I have had in life with each other and other people equipped us to be able to come out of the battle still standing. There were definite times when we knew we were being covered with prayers and they were what was keeping us from throwing in the towel.
We found out 7 days before we got Cayden that the baby born 4 days before Cayden (unknown to us), that we had been providing for and praying for all these months was laying in the NICU going through withdrawal (we were prepared for that part), his "mom" (hard to even give her that title) had been released from the hospital and was refusing all calls and visits from our agency to sign the consent form. We learned she had forged many financial documents to get more money from us for drugs (supposedly), tried to get other agencies to give her more money for them to get the baby and there was no way we could even go see the baby or have anything to do with that baby. It wasn't the situation where a birth mother changes her mind and wants to keep the baby. She just didn't want to sign him over, most likely in hopes to find a way to get more money out of him somehow.
When we found out about Cayden, we were still heavily grieving a lost child, not one that died or having lost him because the birth mother changed her mind. He was still lying in a layette in the NICU, by himself, looking at being there 3-4 more months, going through withdrawal and there was no way we could help him. He was in our hearts (whether he was legally ours or not). Legally, CPS had custody of him (because of drugs and criminal charges pressed against her) and we know he will begin his life in a NICU being claimed by no one. Then when he is "released", he will be going to a foster family until all of the "mother's" rights have been terminated (which could be a year) and then go from there. We felt (and still feel) so helpless. We battle wanting to go to the NICU and just love on him and let him know someone loves him and care for him. We wonder what his life will end up like, will he be loved and cared for? All we can do is remember him and pray for God to watch over him.
On the good side, we know we went through all of this for a reason. We don't know that entire reason yet. It did strengthen us and draw us closer to God. It did show us that we can rely on him in good and bad and he is right there with us. I know he cried with us when we cried (even though he knew the outcome) and he rejoiced with us when we rejoiced. He rode right beside us on the rollercoaster and loved us through all of it.
So, when we get comments like: "What a blessing that you saved this little guy!!".....thank you, but no, we feel like he helped to save us.
I have been wanting to write this for a while, but wasn't sure how to put it into words. I want to remember these feelings and thoughts in the future when I think that God isn't moving fast enough or the right way. I felt we needed to explain to some why we weren't bouncing off the walls with excitement when Cayden came home. (I know I didn't need to explain, but didn't want people thinking we weren't happy.)
Are we elated? Yes, we are even though it may not completely show on the outside, we are overwhelmed with what God has given us!!!
Are we in mourning? Yes, we are. We don't expect everyone to understand and they don't need to, but we are still coming to terms with not being able to save that baby and "losing" him.
........Blissfully Mourning......
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Papa Larry
Today, of all days (day before Father's Day), Carson asked out of the blue:
"Mommy, why don't we ever get to see your daddy?"
I explained that Papa Larry was up with Jesus and one day they would get to meet him and he is watching over them as they grow up.
Cooper chimes in: "Carson, we are just going to make a trip up to heaven to see him!!!"
Carson thought it would probably be best to just wait for the right time, when Jesus thought it was time to meet him.....good choice Carson!!
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Cooper"ism"
Cooper just ran in the house all excited and announced:
"Mommy, Aunt Cory is coming to the house this day and going to go swimming with us!!!".......
The question is, do I even bother with trying to correct him? This has been going on for over 5 years with no sign of improvement!!!
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Family of 5 photo shoot
It just so happened that we had a family photo shoot scheduled for today. It was scheduled 6 months ago without knowing Cayden would be joining us. It couldn't have worked out any better!!!!
We won't get the photos for about a week but here is a photo I shot while the photographer was trying to get the lighting right. 
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Day #3 at home
Daddy had to go to work today so Gaga Margaret came to help out. We had Cayden's first doctor appointment. It was also my first time to go to a check up with one kid.
He is now 7 pounds 10 ounces, 20" long.
25% on the chart for his age.
50% on the chart for his gestation age (3 weeks premature).
AND, in case you were wondering, he is still cute!!!!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
A Carson Musing
One morning, while Carson, Cooper and Mommy were sitting at the table eating breakfast, Carson randomly leans back in his chair, puts his hands behind is head and says:
"This is what men do. "
I ask: "what do women do?"
Carson's answer: "They cook and clean. "
Mommy was quite speechless!!!!!
"This is what men do. "
I ask: "what do women do?"
Carson's answer: "They cook and clean. "
Mommy was quite speechless!!!!!
A Cooper Musing
It seems like the boys are coming up with more and more sayings they are trying to learn the meaning of and use them at the most odd times.
This time:
Cooper, answering me when I ask him what he wants for lunch: "No hay Jose"....
This time:
Cooper, answering me when I ask him what he wants for lunch: "No hay Jose"....
Friday, March 22, 2013
Wii or we
While doing flash card sight words with Carson, the word "we" came up. He was quite convincing that "we" was spelled incorrectly. After much discussion, I realized he was talking about the game Wii... Hopefully, after a thorough explanation I won't be getting a call from his teacher next year hearing about him arguing his point with her again on the subject...
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Exploring countries
Ever since we found out we were expecting, I have had it in mind to do themed days where we learn about a different country and plan a big meal with foods from the country.
This week, we finally did it! Granted, not nearly as detailed as I envisioned it, but baby steps are better than no steps. We got on Google Maps and looked where China and Italy were and at some pictures of buildings and people from each country.
We did China yesterday, with egg rolls, sweet 'n sour chicken and green tea. Carson loved helping roll the egg rolls (all 20 of them)! The boys set the table and made it a special night.
Tonight we toured Italy. Salad, fettuccine Alfredo and sugar snap peas (not really Italian, I know, but good nonetheless).
Cooper did great helping make the pasta!
We tried to snap some photos, unfortunately, I only got one Italy night photo before my phone died:(
This week, we finally did it! Granted, not nearly as detailed as I envisioned it, but baby steps are better than no steps. We got on Google Maps and looked where China and Italy were and at some pictures of buildings and people from each country.
We did China yesterday, with egg rolls, sweet 'n sour chicken and green tea. Carson loved helping roll the egg rolls (all 20 of them)! The boys set the table and made it a special night.
Tonight we toured Italy. Salad, fettuccine Alfredo and sugar snap peas (not really Italian, I know, but good nonetheless).
Cooper did great helping make the pasta!
We tried to snap some photos, unfortunately, I only got one Italy night photo before my phone died:(
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